Note: Because this article discusses some of the…. intricacies… of the third trimester, we’ve asked Kristan, a mom of two, to write this article. We figure this stuff is best discussed by someone who’s experienced it first hand!
Ahhh, the third trimester. It’s the home stretch, but it’s also quite possibly the longest 12 weeks of your life—thanks to some of the less-than-pleasant third trimester symptoms and the general anticipation of waiting for a baby. The good(ish) news? There’s plenty you can do to pass the time. And don’t worry, we consider “napping” a part of that list.
We noticed there are plenty of checklists that talk about yoga and baby books but not enough that cut to the chase. Yes, you should be resting… but this is also kind of the time to get your sh*t together. This third trimester checklist is built from my own experience, with the help of three pregnancy experts: a perinatal mental health counselor, a birth and postpartum doula, and a certified lactation consultant/car seat technician.
When in doubt, I use my personal third trimester philosophy: Rest when you can, prep when can’t.
In other words, consider this your oh shi*t list… for when you look at the calendar and realize a whole human baby will be in your arms in 12 weeks (or less!). We’ll start by going over third trimester symptoms (aka, what to expect). Then, you’ll find your third trimester checklist broken down into these categories (click to skip around):
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Third trimester symptoms (aka, what you’re up against)
Let’s be honest… the third trimester is no walk in the park. You trade your pregnancy glow for a bruised rib cage and lightning crotch (yeah, that’s a thing). But it helps to go in prepared, so here’s what you can expect:
Note: I’m not a doctor. If you experience anything that seems abnormal, call your doctor! And don’t be ashamed. I called in for false alarms three times before my second was born 🙂
- Increased aches and pains: As your baby takes up more space, you start to feel more pressure on your ribs, joints, back, and lungs. For some, this gets uncomfortable. For others (myself included), it can get downright painful. Finding the right combination of movement and rest can help.
- Lightning crotch: This is (bewilderingly) exactly what it sounds like. Baby hits a nerve, and you end up feeling like there’s lightning where lightning should not be.
- Changes in discharge: As your body preps for birth, you may experience a change or increase in vaginal discharge. As you approach the final weeks, make sure you call the doctor if the discharge gets watery or soaks through a pad… it could be your water!
- Swelling: A little puffiness is normal in the final weeks. But if you experience sudden and extreme swelling, call your doctor.
- Nausea and/or heart burn: Isn’t nausea a thing of the past?! Well… not for everyone. Some people get nauseous again in the third trimester, and heart burn kicks into high gear as baby invades the space of your stomach and esophagus.
- Braxton Hicks contractions: Unlike real contractions, Braxton Hicks are typically mild, irregular, and go away if you change positions or drink water. They don’t make any changes to your cervix (that’s the job of a real contraction). It’s just your body practicing! Fair warning—I got a TON of these with my second pregnancy. It felt like I couldn’t move without contracting, and some of them got painful. When I wasn’t sure if they were truly just BH, I called my doctor!
- Mood swings, anxiety, and/or depression: Maybe it’s hormones, maybe it’s that you’re sick and tired of being pregnant. For me, it was both. If you start to struggle, (you guessed it) call your doctor!
- Sleep disruption: It seems cruel, but pregnancy insomnia is a thing. Some say it helps prepare for when the baby is here, keeping you up at night. I’m not sure if I felt better prepared… mostly, I was just tired.
- Actual labor: Eventually, it’s the real deal. The third trimester gets you closer and closer to your baby making their grand entrance! Watch out for contractions that build in intensity and follow a pattern. Or, you might be in the small percentage of women whose water breaks first (that was me!). If that happens, go straight to labor & delivery!
Your third trimester checklist
As you read through this checklist, keep the above symptoms in mind. While you may no experience every symptom on the list, chances are you’ll feel pretty tired. Rest when you can… but when you have the energy, chip away at the things below.
Birth
- Create your birth plan
- Create a postpartum plan
- Pack your hospital bag
- Tour the hospital and/or ask your doctor questions
- Create a labor playlist
The third trimester is a great time to square away your birth and postpartum plans. Create a document that lays out your preferences for birth (but keep in mind that there’s only so much you can control!). Who is on your birth team (i.e., do you want to hire a doula)? Where will you give birth? Do you want pain medication? Who is allowed in the room? Do you want to be able to move around?
Perinatal mental health therapist, Sara Rader, also emphasizes the importance of a postpartum plan, where you sit down with your partner (if applicable) and discuss how you will handle sleep deprivation, household chores, and all the other fun stuff that comes with a new baby.
From the mental health perspective, the number one recommendation I have for third trimester moms is to create a detailed postpartum care plan. This is a great opportunity to connect with your partner & discuss ways to work as a team postpartum. It makes a big difference if you can think ahead to reduce confusion & conflict during this time period so you can really focus on rest, recovery, and bonding with your new baby.
– Sara Rader, Licensed Professional CounselorSara recommends visiting the Postpartum Support International website and downloading their free postpartum plan template. Once you’ve done that, go ahead and pack your hospital bag. And while you’re at it, create your perfect birth playlist. Trust me, music helps!
Baby and home
- Get the rest of your baby essentials
- Install your car seat
- Wash and sanitize bottles and pacifiers
- Order a breast pump (if you’re planning to breast feed)
- Put together a postpartum cart or basket
- Identify your support systems
You don’t need a fancy nursery, but you do need a few basic essentials to make sure you can feed, change, and bathe your baby. Plus, you’ll want to safely move your baby and put them to sleep. There’s a lot of people screaming “you must have this!” out there, so we’ve gathered up a list of your basic essentials here.
Installing the car seat isn’t quite as simple as it sounds, and you’re required to have it installed before you leave the hospital. Go ahead and get that done, so you have time to check the installation with a car seat tech.
Car seat installation is not as simple as it seems! The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) reports that 90% of parents feel confident in their car seat installation, but around half of all car seats are install incorrectly. Installation in the vehicle is one thing – and then proper use each time is another layer!
– Heather Price, IBCLC / CPST / Founder of Pro Parents PrepThe most common mistakes Heather Price, licensed car seat technician, sees?
- seats/bases that are installed too loosely in the vehicle
- seats that are installed with both latch AND seat belts (nearly all car seats require just one or the other, not both)
- straps positioned too high in infant seats
- straps that are too loose
- chest clips landing too low on the abdomen
Finally, part of prepping your home is prepping for postpartum. Get a basket with some healing essentials together—that includes your favorite snacks! Healing and taking care of a baby is hard work. As much as you can, lean on your support systems to help you navigate the first few weeks of infancy.
In preparing for new parenthood, consider this: birth is one day or so. Newborn period is 6 weeks. Infant is the remainder of that first year, and of course, parenting is forever! It is worth your time to deeply consider what kind of support you need, especially in those first few months. Lean on whatever support network you have for meals, help with housework, infant care, and care for yourselves.
– Heather Price, IBCLC / CPST / Founder of Pro Parents PrepMedical
- Monitor your baby’s kicks
- Attend your prenatal appointments
Around 26-28 weeks, you should start paying attention to your baby’s kicks. Some medical experts suggest laying down at the same time everyday and making sure you can count 10 movements within two hours. Others recommend paying attention to what feels “normal” for your baby (and trust me, it will get to a point where it’s hard to ignore) and calling if anything seems off. Count the kicks is an excellent resource for this!
The prenatal appointments will get more frequent (every other week until week 36… then it’s every week!). Make sure you attend them so that you can express any concerns you have, relay your birth preferences, and monitor your baby’s health.
Education
- Take a birthing class
- See a lactation consultant (if you’re planning to breastfeed)
Birth is… wild. It’s helpful for both partners to know what to expect (and that might be the understatement of the year—it’s borderline critical, especially if you have strong birth preferences). With the right amount of education and prep, birth can also be a pretty incredible experience.
A course can walk you through what the heck is going on throughout all those contractions. Plus, you can learn more about pain management, pushing, and what happens directly after birth (we love Tinyhood for birth education—it’s super affordable and offers so many courses to help you through the first year. And you get access to all of them!).
If you’re planning to breastfeed, seeing a lactation consultant before you birth your baby can actually increase your chances of success. According to IBCLC Heather Price, prenatal lactation consultations are a chance to review your health history, discuss goals, learn about your pump, and have a plan in place for early postpartum.
Work
- Determine what you want in terms of work vs. staying home (or some combination of both)
- Tour daycares and get on a waitlist (if applicable)
- Create a maternity leave plan and set boundaries (if applicable)
For some reason, I never see work-related things on a third trimester checklist, but no matter what your plan is, you gotta figure some things out before the baby comes.
If you’re planning to return to work, you’ve probably already told your colleagues about your pregnancy and arranged for maternity leave (if you haven’t—now is the time!). But it’s helpful to start thinking now about projects you may want to wrap up before taking off and how you’ll transition your tasks. Making a plan can make the last few weeks feel less overwhelming, especially when you should be focused on resting. Communicate your boundaries and expectations. Unfortunately, some people still think maternity leave is a vacation. But trust me, you won’t be trying to respond to emails when you’re sleep deprived and covered in spit up.
Fair warning: The daycare situation is kind of abysmal. In many areas, there are super long waitlists. If you haven’t already, go ahead and tour some daycares and get on a waitlist.
And if you’re planning to stay home? Discuss the division of labor with your partner. In some ways, the home becomes your workplace, and it’s just as important to figure out expectations and boundaries. And if you’re like me, and you’re self-employed… do yourself a favor and set parameters around what your “leave” will look like, even if it’s self-funded. Communicate that to your clients.
Taking care of you
- Rest, rest, rest
- Hydrate
- Eat nutritious foods
- Do what feels good
There is a lot going on and kind of a lot to do, but please don’t forget to take care of yourself. Your body will force you to rest if you don’t allow time for extra snoozing. Call in for backup if you can and put your feet up. While you’re at it, drink another glass of water.
And lastly… just do what feels good. Light movement can help relieve aches and pains, but don’t force yourself to work out if what you really need is a nap. Maybe it helps to keep your mind occupied with a new hobby or calling up a friend. Remember: this stage is temporary, and every day brings you closer to your baby!
In fact, postpartum and birth doula, Mallory Hansen, confirms the benefits of naps and hobbies:
My biggest thing with my clients is ensuring that they’re resting! So all the naps. But also just doing things they’ve maybe wanted to do for themselves but haven’t yet—learn to knit, go get a manicure, massage, facial, etc, or acupuncture. Focus on your nervous system regulation and staying calm and grounded
– Mallory Hansen, Holistic Birth & Postpartum DoulaFor dads
Alright dads, I know you want to help because you’re great dads. But if you find yourself feeling like you can’t be all that helpful, scroll up and read back through the third trimester symptoms. Anything you can do to take tasks off your pregnant partner’s plate helps. Here are some specific suggestions:
Take care of yourself
First and foremost, make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Find support through your community and seek professional help if you need it—there’s no shame! According to licensed therapist Sara Rader, dads can also be prone to mental health challenges during the third trimester and beyond, due to the rather incomparible life changes taking place.
Dads absolutely can benefit from therapy in this time period as well! Although we don’t talk about it often, new dads can also develop depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns during the perinatal period. Moms & dads can often find themselves feeling overwhelmed during the transition to parenthood, due to the huge changes in your lifestyle and responsibilities. You may even find yourself triggered by aspects of new parenthood that stir up your own wounds. Seeking support for yourself allows you to show up as the parent and partner you want to be during this sacred time of life.
– Sara Rader, Licensed Professional CounselorAttend prenatal appointments
As much as you can, continue to attend the prenatal appointments. It’s helpful to have the extra support.
Pack your own hospital bag
Pack your own bag, and do it before your partner reaches 36 weeks. You’ll need a few changes of clothes and toiletries. Pro tip: Pack yourself some snacks and blanket.
Plan to take on more of the housework/care for older children
When I was in the final weeks of my pregnancy, caring for my three-year-old felt like an olympic sport. Even if you already have a pretty equal split, you might need to take on more than your typical fair share.
Educate yourself on birth and breastfeeding (if your partner plans to breastfeed)
Take a birthing class with your partner. There are a lot of sights, smells, and sounds. It’s helpful if you’re not shocked by any of them. The support of my partner was critical to me staying sane throughout the birthing process.
If your partner plans to breastfeed, plan to take a breastfeeding class with her as well. According to board certified lactation consultant, Heather Price, partners have a direct impact on breastfeeding success, and I believe it! My partner helped me figure out how to latch, attended lactation consultations with me, and is Chief Pump Part Washer in our house.
Education is SO important for both the breastfeeding parent AND their support people. Partners who understand the basics of milk production and breastfeeding can be better encouragers and supporters. [As a partner], you impact whether she chooses to breastfeed or not, how confident she feels in breastfeeding, and how long she does it!
– Heather Price, IBCLC / CPSTGet a plan for care for older children in place
If you have older children, take on the task of figuring out where they’re going to go when your partner goes into labor. Do you have family nearby? Close friends? If you don’t live near your support system, can someone come in town and stay for awhile? Alternatively, I’ve seen where people hire on-call sitters to be available when the moment comes.
Call insurance
Call your insurance company and make sure you know what to do to add your new human to your insurance plan when they’re born.
Take a parenting class
To state the obvious: Once you get through birth, you have to actually be a parent. You may find that some of it comes naturally, but not all of it. A new parenting class can help you navigate everything from the pure basics (i.e., how to actually hold a baby who can’t support their own head) to more complicated matters like how do I get this baby to sleep.
Shameless plug: Check out the Fathercraft New Dad class. You go at your own pace, you get practical tips and lessons, and if you don’t feel like it’s helping you, you can get your money back within 60 days.
What’s next?
Hi, we’re Fathercraft! If you’re prepping for a baby, make sure you check out our free baby prep checklists and product reviews. We’re on a mission to make cool stuff for awesome dads and families, and we hope you’ll tag along.
